i think my tv is drunk
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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