His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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