how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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