you should give me head with plastic fangs in
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
