The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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