My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
