how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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