I should be sponsored by Trojan
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
