He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
