I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
