I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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