If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
