? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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