you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
