So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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