That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
