I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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