big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
