Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
