Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
