I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize