dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
