The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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