please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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