There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
wow bdsm is so cute
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