I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
