I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
