Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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