walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
