i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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