Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it was like eating out sand paper
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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