i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
