Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize