Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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