whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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