Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
