OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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