so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
