pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
