He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
