hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
