If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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