found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize