I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
