We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
