Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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