I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
