I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
