She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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