So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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