he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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