while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize