playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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