Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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