i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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