i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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