lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
