Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
